5 Signs That You Might Be In A Toxic Friendship

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There was a certain point between the graduation of high school and the beginnings of adulthood where I craved more friends. All I kept thinking was ‘the more, the better,’ and I killed myself trying to fulfill this motto. I remember crying to my mother because I didn’t have a lot of friends (seems sadly ridiculous now). If you have felt this way, then I have a magical piece of advice that completely changed my perspective on things.

It doesn’t matter how many friends you have, it is how they treat you! You would rather have a few fantastic friends who are genuinely there for you and help you become the best version of yourself.

For some reason, we are so picky when it comes to our significant other but we lax a little on friendships. This is incredibly silly of us because, well, friends are sometimes closer to us than our own family! So why are we settling? I’m happy to say that I have a small group of friends (which does include my mother, and I’m not ashamed of that!) that really care about me and I know will always have my back.

Unfortunately, it was not always that way. Especially in high school (and hugely right after high school) I had some extremely lousy friends. It took me far too long to realize that they were actually hurting me before I finally pulled the cord. To save you the time and fights that I endured here are a few red flags to look for if you think you might be in a toxic friendship.

Constant Disapproval
If you have a friend who is consistently criticizing everything you do, wear, or talk to, then they are probably not truly there for you! A friend should be honest and tell you when you are acting like an idiot, but that doesn’t mean they should do it all the time (or in a rude way). They should want the best for you and give you encouragement, advice, and congratulations.

Jealousy Kills
I see this with A LOT of people. For some reason when people become jealous they almost become mean. They might belittle you and make you feel less just because you have something they don’t. You can be envious of your friend's beautiful skin or fantastic personality, but you should never be hateful or jealous.

When I go out with my girlfriends, and they get hit on or praise from someone I feel happy for them! Find a friend who feels joy for you and everything you have.  There is no room in a healthy relationship for an evil green bug.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
They are Untrustworthy
Have you ever seen a friend hear a secret from one of their ‘close friends’ and then turn around and tell someone else? Or hear of them doing that to you? That’s not a good friend; that’s a gossip attention seeker.

Drama Follows Them Like a Magnet
We all have drama in our life; it’s inevitable. However, if you find yourself with someone who has 100% drama and seems to love it…well, that usually is a hot red flag. A little bit of drama is sometimes fun and exciting but a lot is just tiring and stressful.

Selfish to a Fault
I’m okay with being selfish. Being selfish is not necessarily a bad thing; in fact, it can be a great thing! We should put ourselves first in certain situations to remain sane and create a space of self-love. This being said, if your pain or needs are never a factor in your friendship, then it might be time to call it quits. If you are always there for them, they should return the favor once and a while.

If you find yourself relating to any of these, then it might be time to let someone loose. Or if you are reading this thinking ‘, I do all of those things’ then it might be time to work on yourself. Having a good friend in your life is like finding the perfect jean; you feel confident, happy, and never want to get rid of them!

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