Factors For A Healthy Relationship

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Does it nag at you a little bit when your boyfriend didn’t hear a single word you just said, has been distant for the past month, and your friends are #relationshipgoals? Don’t worry; you are not alone in this feeling. When it comes to relationships we all get lulls that feel like they will last for forever. My relationship is by no means perfect and if anyone tells you that they have the perfect relationship, well, they’re lying.

Having a significant other and being in love is HARD WORK! You are not always going to see eye to eye and there will be days where you will want to rip your hair out (or theirs). That’s OK! As long as at the end of the day you remember the love you have and are fighting FOR the relationship; not against it.

Through years of ups and downs and finding our rhythm I feel like I have a decent grasp on this living and loving another person. These few factors in my opinion are absolutely needed for a healthy relationship to stand the test of time.

Communication
This is a given that somehow moves to the back of our minds over time. When I first started dating I realized communication was severely lacking from both sides. I can 100% this is the reason our relationship went through spurts of turmoil. When you are trying to guess the others thoughts we tend to guess the worst; it’s inevitable. Communication doesn’t come in one night. You have to constantly work at it; BOTH parties. When it’s only coming from one person that’s when things start to crumble.

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The Chase
Remember when you first started the dating process? You would dress up in your nicest outfits and get the little butterflies before seeing them. There was always that constant adrenaline rush (or fear) that they weren’t yours. I’m not saying you should fear losing them but you SHOULD still get that feeling. Dating is a common loss in long term relationships. Without this process you can start to get into that boring stillness and feel like the relationship is going nowhere.

Your significant other feeling under the weather? Treat them to a little care package. Make them breakfast in the morning just because (or buy flowers, or chocolate!). Take them out to a nice dinner followed by a movie or a fun event. Even a sweet little text in the middle of the day can go a long way.

Intimacy
No, this does not mean your partner owes you anything; nor does it mean that you should force them into anything they are not feeling. Sometimes intimacy is the last thing on your mind…and that’s ok! Both parties should enjoy getting under the sheets for this to work. All this being said; relationships without any intimacy usually don’t last that long. Notice how I’m not saying sex? That’s because intimacy comes in different variations. There are people who don’t enjoy sex either due to hormonal or physical reasons. If you are one of those people then that’s where communication comes into play.

Intimacy and communication, in my opinion, go hand in hand. If you read one of my past articles here you’ll see that communication is absolutely needed in the bedroom. At the end of the day it’s not HOW you do it, but the fact that you are putting in effort to make each other happy.

Space
You need space for a successful relationship? Yes; yes you do. I see so many relationships around me go downhill because they are always by their significant others side or continually nagging at the other with “where are you?” or “who are you with?” When I’m out and about without my significant other I sometimes get the weird look when I tell people he’s at home doing his own thing.

“And he’s okay with you being out?” It’s not 1746 people; you can have a life without your partner right next to you at all times. Some space from time to time really does make the heart grow fonder. You can’t expect them to miss you and appreciate you if you are constantly stitched to the hip.

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Trust
This is a necessity in any form of relationship. Without trust we beg the question, is it really a relationship? Sometimes my insecurities will get in the way and paranoia will pop its evil little head out. It happens; but it should not consume us. If they haven’t given you any reason to distrust them then why all the suspicion? Trust your partner that they love you completely and that they always have your best interest at heart.

Sometimes we have those past relationships that crumble because of infidelity or piles of lies that unravel. Don’t let the past effect your future. Having a constant open mind and trust will actually make love grow. As long as you are honest with each other at all times (except when she asks you if her new haircut looks good and it doesn’t; lie!) you will have success.



None of us are perfect. We are going to get into fights for no reason at all or storm off without fixing what is broken. As long as you keep trying, keep loving, and keep working (both sides, obviously) then your relationship can stand the test of time. 
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