Should Sex Make Or Break A Relationship?

Photo by Marcelo Matarazzo on Unsplash


I have heard this question several times before from friends and, for some reason, they expect me to know the answer since I’ve been in a long term relationship. While my opinion is not law, I believe that TO A DEGREE it should make or break a relationship. This meaning that, while it is needed to a certain extent for a relationship to thrive, it should never be put on a top priority list.

Sex is great; most people will tell you that. However there are people out there with medical issues that make intercourse unenjoyable or even extremely painful. They shouldn’t have to settle for being alone or having a cheating partner just because of this. That being said, sexual attraction is (and kind of should be) a big deal to truly fall in love. That might seem completely vain to say but it holds truth we don’t always want to hear.

When you first meet someone you immediately go off of looks and first impression personalities. This is the harsh truth. Eventually we learn more of what is inside and it can change our perspective of the outside. Yet, if we don’t feel that sexual arousal around the person even after good time spent then it probably isn’t in the cards for us. I believe the same is with sex. If you NEVER have an urge to have sex with your partner (medical condition or not) then there is probably more wrong in the relationship then you think.

Remember, sex doesn’t just have to be penetration. If you have medical conditions or a low libido there are still things each person can do to satisfy the other. Communication is a huge form of this and without communication sex usually isn’t that great. Remember the first few times in the relationship? Yes, they were great. But be honest, they are not as great as the long term relationship ‘I can tell you what I like and vice versa’ feeling.

At the end of the day before a relationship ends make sure you both have fully communicated your feelings. Most of the time this is what is wrong with the situation; no one wants to talk about it. If you have fully talked it over and the sexual attraction is not there it might be time to let things end. Not having sex though? No, that shouldn’t make or break a relationship. If you can’t love each other fully without intercourse then you need to reassess your needs. However, if you never feel that sexual attraction then that could end something that probably isn’t there anyways.

At the end of the day no one can tell you how your relationship should work and if you are happy or not. If you don’t feel good in your relationship then end it. It is OK to go against these words and it is OK to not be ok with your current romance life. Just remember that talking, while it might seem pointless, has a lot more power than you would think.

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