15 Things I've Learned In A Healthy Relationship

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Relationships are complicated, especially healthy ones. Too many times I have seen memes on the internet saying, "If it is difficult, it might not be worth it." This is the farthest thing from the truth. While yes, you should not always be fighting with your significant other, you are also going to have rough patches to work through. Through my life, I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to dating. I can now say that I am in a happy relationship that I truly believe will stand the test of the time. This didn't come easy for us.

Whether you just started dating or have been with someone for a while now, these are things I have learned along the way. Through trial and error, we have found what works best for us and how to cope with different struggles. While one size does not fit all, these are tips everyone should think about when looking at their relationship. At the end of the day, if you have tried everything and you are still miserable, it might be time to call it quits. Loving someone forever takes work, but it shouldn't feel impossible.

Space is necessary.
I cannot stress enough the importance of space between you and your significant other. Being around someone 24/7 is not healthy. You need time to learn about yourself and have your own time. While I love my boyfriend dearly, I also love my alone time. I went more into detail in this article about the importance of space.

Compromise without changing.
I spoke in a recent article about why compromising is needed for a healthy relationship. When you are with another person, there should be compromising to some extent. We have different views, and they can sometimes clash. Learn what matters more to you and how to let the small things go. If it means that much to them, you need to learn to let it go. Same goes for them as well. If they are not able to meet you half way this is where most relationships start to clash. You shouldn't have to change your core characteristics, but you should also be okay with sacrificing a few things for a healthy relationship. Balance is required.

Split the work in half.
If one person is doing everything, well, they are going to start dispising certain things you do. For instance, while I work on my writing career, I don't have as many financial resources as I used to. Since my boyfriend has lovingly taken on a few more of the bills, I decided to take over all of the housework. One person should never be struggling alone. Find ways to help take a few things off their plate. After all, a healthy relationship is an equal balance of giving and receiving.

Always find room for flirting.
What I see in a lot of long-term relationships is boredom start to show its ugly head. A lot of couples crumble because they stop dating and start becoming roommates. The best relationships keep the chase alive. Send a sweet little text during work hours, spend a night cooking a fantastic dinner, or go out for a fun excursion. Being comfortable doesn't mean you should stop flirting. Don't know what to do? You can learn here how to show your appreciation for your significant other.

Communicate before a fight starts.
I have a horrible time with this, and so does my boyfriend. While he used to never talk about his feelings, I would only talk about them when I was about to explode. If you are angry at a specific situation, you need to speak your mind. Otherwise, that anger might fester into a larger fight that isn't necessary. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; a healthy relationship has constant communication.

There is no room for jealousy.
Guys and gals, if your significant other is with you, then you need to stop getting jealous. Other people are going to hit on them, it is a fact of life. Do you trust them? If yes, then why even let jealousy turn a relationship sour? While I might feel a tad irritated when a girl flirts with my boyfriend, I know at the end of the day he loves me and would never do anything to compromise that. If you don't feel that way, you might have more issues than just feeling jealous.

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Have serious conversations.
I have met a few people who are married and are on the verge of divorcing. The reason? One wants kids while the other one doesn't. This is a conversation that should have taken place way before the vows. It might seem uncomfortable, but if you are planning on being with a person forever, you need to know their viewpoints on specific topics. While some things can be looked over, there are deal-breakers in every relationship.

You need to be comfortable with silence.
I am a talker, anyone who knows me will say that is true. Mostly, I just talk out loud to hear what specific ideas sound like. That being said, I also cherish my silent moments. If you cannot be comfortable sitting with your partner in silence you probably won't last all that long. Quiet time is just as important as communication.

Appreciate your differences.
I'm a homebody and slightly introverted. My skills in sports are severely lacking, and I almost never drink alcohol. My boyfriend is quite the opposite. He loves meeting new people, participating in every game known to man, and gets antsy sitting in the house for too long. When we first started dating this caused a lot of problems for us. Through time, we have learned to appreciate that we are different people. You don't have to be twinning with your partner, you just have to be able to accept you won't always like the same things.

You are not always right.
This one is tough for me. One of my most significant flaws is how stubborn I can become. I grew up with a man who always had to be right, which caused me to hate people who were this way. My boyfriend has a bad habit of playing devil's advocate with me, which usually ends in me starting a fight. He has learned to not always take the opposite standpoint, and I have learned that it is okay to not be right. Most of the time, that fight you are having is over something you don't even care about. Learn to let it go.

Have a life outside of them.
We have all met that couple who are joined at the hip. They never go anywhere without the other person and are continually texting them when they are separated. This is clingy and 101 on bad relationships. If you cannot have a life outside of your significant other, you probably should learn to be single for a while. I love spending time with my boyfriend. I also enjoy hanging out with my friends and family without him (and vice versa). Some nights I stay out late, and he is okay with that. The only reason we message each other in these situations is to let the other person know we might be home late. This goes hand in hand with space and trust.

Support each other completely.
You might not like every decision they make, but you should still be supportive. One thing I am so grateful for is that my boyfriend has been right behind me while I try to follow my dreams. In return, I do the same for him. This is the person who is supposed to be with you until you die. They should want you to grow and accomplish your passions, not get in the way of them.

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Push them.
At the time, I hate it when my boyfriend forces me to do something. For instance, I was having a lousy day and wanted to give up on my writing. Not only did he give me amazing compliments, but he also pushed me to write something that day. You might hate it, but you will eventually be grateful for that shove. Don't settle for mediocre. A healthy relationship is pushing them to be the best they can be.

Leave the fights for reality shows.
One thing that perplexes people is the fact that we never fight. Yes, we have playful little spats that mean nothing, but we never truly get mad at each other. This is because we face a problem when it originates before it can become a more significant problem. We also, through time, learned to let a lot of things go. When I get mad at something he does, he backs off. That line about fighting being healthy for passion is a bunch of bull. I'm a testament that you can have a passionate relationship without quarreling constantly. You can read here on how to keep the passion alive in your relationship.

Love their friends and family.
This isn't always going to happen. Individual family members or friends are going to get on your nerves. However, these are the people who your significant other loves. It means the world to them to be able to add you to this picture. Your partner should never feel like they have to choose between you and their loved ones. This being said, if you do have a toxic family/friend, you shouldn't let them ruin your relationship either.

Overall, relationships can be the greatest thing or your biggest downfall. All of these tips are useless if you are with the wrong person. As much as you need to be there for them, they need to do the same thing as well. One big thing I have learned through my relationship is how to love myself. Self-love is the biggest key for a bond between two people to thrive. After all, if you cannot see the beauty within yourself, it makes it difficult for others too. Let me know in the comments below what are some tips you have learned in your relationship or dates.


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