5 Ways To Reignite The Spark In Your Relationship

Photo by TNK PHOTO on Unsplash

Here at The Graceful Klutz, we have an open dialogue about sex, relationships, and dating. Since it such an important topic that doesn't always get discussed, I find it refreshing to have this conversation with you (my readers). I've talked about keeping the passion alive in your relationship in a past article, but that was more aimed towards the sexual side of things. However, sex isn't the only thing that sometimes needs a refresher course.

We are all guilty of letting a relationship become, well, a mutual friendship. There is nothing wrong with this, but it can grow a bit monotonous throughout the years. I am known to let the flirting and dating go downhill. I mean, I spend my day writing and talking with other people online so, when my boyfriend comes home, I'm ready for a good TV show and my slouchy sweats. As my mom likes to say, I'm a middle-aged woman inside of a 25-year-old body.

While I'm not a huge fan of going out on the weekends or, you know, doing anything people my age do, I do recognize that these things should occasionally happen to spice things up. Whether you are on your first few dates, have been going out for years, or happily married, these tips are useful for all couples out there. Life can sometimes be dull and boring, a relationship should never be characterized as such.

Random Acts of Appreciation
We all want to be appreciated in our relationships, whether it is a significant other or family member. I've talked about 7 ways to show appreciation to your significant other before because it is vital for a healthy relationship. It doesn't have to be intricate either. My boyfriend sometimes brings me some chocolate and my favorite drink when he gets home from work. There is no reason behind it except that he knows I love those things and he wants to put a smile on my face.

Whether it is a tangible gift or a gesture, random acts of kindness to your partner can go a long way. Clean the house, make a bubble bath for them, or even leave the house for a night so they can have friends over (or just have a night to themselves). Find something that you know will brighten their day and do it. After all, don't we want our significant other to be happy?

Love Notes
In this day and age, we don't ever write letters anymore. What is a piece of paper? What is a love note? No, I'm not talking about texting them randomly throughout the day (although that is a sweet gesture). I've always been a fan of letters, and it is clearly evident if you look at past relationships. I embarrassingly used to write letters (not always good ones either) and stick them under my boyfriend's door before running away. Those were high school years, but the idea isn't bad.

Last year I didn't have that much money for Christmas gifts. So, instead of buying pricier things, I bought a couple of items and wrote a love poem to my boyfriend. Not only does he still have it, but it makes him tear up every time he reads it. There is something incredibly romantic about taking the time to write down your feelings. For you guys reading this, it is not stupid. Did you know some of the best love letters were written by men? This isn't subjected to one gender.

Photo by Tirza van Dijk on Unsplash

Play the Dating Game
I'm about to give advice that basically goes against most all of my past articles. Stop having sex. Hear me out on this! Remember when you first started dating? You would spend hours in the mirror getting ready, get butterflies when you saw your date, and that kiss at the end of the night was like receiving a million dollars? You can recreate this to get that spark back in a relationship.

While you should always date, I suggest doing a 30-day dating challenge. Even if you live together, you can still make this work. Spend time getting ready, keep the phones at home, and get to know each other again. End the night with a good make-out session. The next date you can let them get to second base. You'd be amazed at how exhilarating this can feel. Plus, that first time you do have sex (again), it will feel like the first time. Besides, after years of dating, we forget how fun it is to just make out in the car after a date.

Have Fun Together
Remember when you used to have fun? Adulthood is filled with bills, schedules, work, and deadlines. It can become so hectic that we forget the small things that used to excite us. Take a break from the stresses of the world and do something spontaneous and exhilarating with your partner. This could be taking a little vacation, doing different activities like bowling, going on a second honeymoon, or just starting a hobby together. Find something to bond over and watch that spark begin to blossom.

Even if you just get a hotel in your hometown, you can find a way to shake things up. Usually, the spark dies out because of everything else going on in our life. A few years back my boyfriend and I decided to take a trip to San Francisco. It was so much fun that we never wanted that time to end. When we got home, it felt like we had been recharged. Our flirting picked up, we went out on more dates, and just had that warm, cozy love emotion pooling out of our pores. Remember, you don't have to leave the State to have some good quality fun.

Spontaneity is Everything
I'm happy with who I am and what I like. It has taken me years to get to this point, but I now don't compromise these things. I'll never be the girl who is good at sports or who can randomly make friends with strangers. This does not mean I cannot have bursts of spontaneous change in my life. There is a difference between being comfortable with each other and becoming predictable. Embrace that spontaneous spirit.

This can be in and out of the bedroom. Maybe make a night he/she will never forget with some candles and new moves or decide to surprise them with concert tickets to their favorite band. Kind of like showing your appreciation, surprising your partner with something new can change the mood. For instance, let's say you are driving home from seeing a movie. Maybe take a random exit and get lost in a field (or wherever there is an open space where you live) and watch the stars as you make out. The movie alone could be something spontaneous!

The point is to change things up in your relationship. Our spark gets lost when we stop trying. So many people think that a genuine relationship should be simple and run smoothly, but this is not the case. They take work, commitment, and learning to compromise. If you want something easy, get a roommate. If you want a lifelong partner, who will be by your side no matter what, you have to put in the time and effort. Let me know in the comments below some tips and tricks you use to keep the spark alive in your relationship.


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