How To Get Over A Breakup

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Breakups are never easy for anyone involved. While some can end peacefully, they still bring their fair share of heartbreak. Unfortunately, there is no one way to get over this pain and, while you can find ways to deal with it, the truth is that it will take time to move on. However, there are things you can do to lessen the pain during those beginning stages of a breakup. Being someone who had dealt with several breakups in my lifetime, I can honestly say that these tips helped me out in those moments.

One thing we all need to realize is that, while it feels like your heart has broken into pieces, it is never the end. You will move on from the pain and eventually find someone else who is meant to be with you. It is hard to believe that love is out there when were just crushed, but that means you have not found it yet. No matter how you broke up with your partner, these tips can help you get through each day until the pain has lessened.

For anyone going through a breakup, I wish I could hug you right now. I know how miserable and alone it can feel after someone you loved has left your life. It is like they took all the good and happy with them. You will get through it because you are all beautiful, unique, and powerful human beings. It is not the end, but a beginning to a new chapter in your life.

Block and avoid your ex.
While you might be friends in the future, you need to take a break from seeing, hearing, and being around your ex. It doesn't have to be permanent, but continuously seeing them on your social media feed will only prolong the pain. Within those first few days, I would suggest blocking them on all your accounts, including your phone, and trying to avoid them at all costs. It is hard to get over someone when you keep running into them.

Giving yourself space away from the painful situation will help you properly heal and move on. If you work with your ex or if they continue to try and reach out, politely ask your ex for space for a while. I understand that some people end up great friends after a breakup, but you both need to take a breather from each other first. When you are ready, then you can start slowly adding them back into your life.

Clean out the house.
Just like blocking them online, you need to clear out your home as well. Depending on your living arrangements, you might want to get rid of anything that belonged to them. Again, this doesn't have to be a permanent thing. You can box up their belongings, presents, or anything that reminds you of the ex and store them out of sight. When you have constant reminders of a past relationship, it can make the pain worse.

If you made a life together and they moved out, try to make sure to make the moving out process as quick as possible. Help them get their stuff and, after it is all done, think about redecorating for a fresh start. It can be as simple as buying a new comforter for your bed. Making the home feel more like your own will help you from seeing memories in each room you walk into each day.

Surround yourself with love.
Being alone is never a good option after a breakup. Even though we think we need that or want to go drink our life away at a bar, always ask for backup. Get a friend or family member to join you with whatever you do. Having someone who loves and supports you by your side will help keep you distracted from the thoughts swimming through your head. They can also prevent you from drunk dialing your ex (which we all know you'll regret in the morning).

Friends and loved ones are great shoulders to cry on as well. I remember when I broke up with my boyfriend I had a movie night with my best friend. We watched horror movies, drank a bottle of wine, and ended up having a fabulous night. Just make sure not to spend the entire night bashing your ex. Doing this usually doesn't make you feel better and, if you do become friends in the future, will give you guilt for what you said.

Photo by Ali Morshedlou on Unsplash

Pick up a hobby or fitness routine.
Staying busy is the name of the game. When you are alone, and with your thoughts, this is when you feel that pain come full force. By keeping your body and mind busy, you have a better chance of moving on. You can pick up a hobby you have always wanted to try or get into exercising. Every break up I've ever had always ended with me becoming a powerhouse in the gym. Sweating and bettering my body helps boost my mood and mindset.

Exercise is also a great alternative to junk food and sad movies because it helps release endorphins and can be exhausting. You'll leave the gym a little bit happier and, since most nights are hell during a breakup, can help you fall asleep faster. Whatever you choose, find something that can keep both your mind and body busy. Distractions are great during those first few weeks.

Work it out.
While you should be working out your emotions, this is not what I mean here. A breakup is a great time to grow and develop in your career. Diving into projects and work is always a great way to stay distracted. Every promotion I have had in my life came after a horrible breakup. Not wanting to be home alone, I would go into work early and stay late. It also gave me time to find new projects to do and spend time with other co-workers.

Home is usually not a safe place after a breakup. It can be a source of pain and, with all that alone time, can make you wallow in self-pity. Getting ahead in your career will keep you focused on other tasks and can help you feel accomplished. It is okay to want to have a night filled with crying and sad movies, but don't let that become a regular ritual.

If need to, rebound.
I'm not saying that you should go out and have sex with any stranger whom you find on the street, but rebounds happen for a reason. It doesn't entirely help you move on, but it can make a night less lonely. You can go out on a few dates and have some fun with someone new. Who knows, you might even end up liking them. I would say, if you go this route, make sure you are open with what you are expecting.

While you might be in rebound mode, the person you are with might not be. Make sure you let them know you are recently broken up and that you are just looking for someone to hang out with and have a good time. However, don't feel like you have to rebound to move on. I've never been someone who can do this because I end up feeling even worse after. Don't force a situation if you know it won't make you feel any better.

Write it out.
Just like talking to friends, writing out your feelings can be extremely therapeutic. I used to keep a journal next to my bed and, before going to sleep, would write down all the pain and feelings I was going through at that moment. Putting it on paper can help lift it from your mind, so you are not tossing and turning each night. It can also help you work out emotions you didn't even know you had at the time. Even if it is too painful to write about your ex, find something to fill in the blank page. Who knows, you might have a novel in that mind.

You need to realize that it will take time for that pain to go away. When you are with someone for a certain amount of time, and they leave your life, it can feel miserable. You are going to have nights where you want to curl up and die, but you can't let that be your life. By staying distracted, surrounding yourself with loved ones, and cleaning out your life, you can begin the process of moving on. Let me know in the comments below any advise you can give for anyone going through a breakup. What did you do after you parted ways with your ex?


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